I’m not expert on love or relationships. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs in mine. One thing I do know for sure is that a good relationship requires work. These tips are what has helped my relationship with Blake. We’ve learned over our five years together what works for us and I’m sure these basic tis can help any relationship.
1.) Talk to each other
This might seem obvious but a lot of couples forget to actually talk to each other. Communication is probably one of the most important parts of a good, healthy relationship. If I have something I need to get off my chest, whether it’s about our relationship or something else that’s bothering me, I will talk it out to Blake. I’m not a person that can hold in my feelings or opinions and this works well for us because the issue gets resolved. We talk it out and feel better after. Holding things in does nothing but build up negative energy and eventually you just explode. Whether it’s something small or a big deal, talk about it with each other
2.) Spend quality time together
Everyone gets busy with their lives. It’s just what happens with life. You’re both tired by the end of the day and probably don’t say much to each other besides “how was your day” or other generic questions. Blake is super busy 7 days a week, I have school 4 days a week and then we take care of our little one. We’ve had times where we don’t talk all day or just the bare minimum. It creates distance and I absolutely hate that feeling. We’ve learned to carve out time for just the two of us. Whether it’s a nice conversation or a day out together. It makes a big difference! A little time for the two of you goes a longgggg way. It just helps you feel closer to one another again. I definitely need some love and affection from Blake when I feel distance between us.
3.) Fight fair
Couples fight, its normal. Two people in a relationship with their own feelings and opinions are bound to bump heads from time to time. When you’re angry you might want to make the other mad or say things you don’t mean. I know I’ve done it. My excuse? Well he pissed me off and I want him to be pissed too so he can feel what I do. Lol not very mature. It’s still a work in progress for us. Here are some tips from our experience that have helped us: don’t try to intentionally hurt the other, don’t use past mistakes as a weapon against the other, don’t yell (it doesn’t help the situation), and obviously no name calling. Let one another say what they have to say and listen. Express yourselves in a way you know they won’t take offense and will take your words into consideration.
4.) Support each other
Starting this blog was a big deal to me. I talked to Blake about it before I launched it and while he was skeptical about it he gave me his support. Having the support of your special someone makes everything seem possible. Whether you fail or succeed you know they’re there for you no matter what. Through the hard times and the good times support each other. Lean on each other and build each other up. It’s one of the best gifts you could give each other. Know it’s ok to let yourself fall apart because your gf/bf/spouse will lift you back up. That’s what they’re there for!
5.) Remember to love yourself first!
Before you can even be in a healthy relationship you have to be happy with yourself. If you’re not how could you ever love someone else. Remember to have some time to yourself. Relax, treat yourself, do something you love to do. It’s easy to get stressed from daily life or feel like you’re barely hanging on to life. When you get to that point, stop and take a moment for you. You’re no good to anyone in that state. You’ll probably just take it out on your gf/bf/spouse and then just cause unnecessary distance or arguments. So remember to love yourself and take care of yourself so you’re at your best for the ones you love.
What helps your relationship stay strong and loving? Love hearing what works for others!